Ali Baba soon to retire plans ‘Finally’ for last show.
By Oliver Onuoha
Having spent 20 years of his life as an entertainer, Ali Baba is believed to be the father of the fast rising Nigerian comedy industry which today, is a money spinner. Ali Baba in this interview, talks of his sojourn into comedy, of how he had to sleep at the bar beach and in most night clubs when he first came to Lagos with a rickety portmanteau in search of the Golden Fleece. He spoke about his forth coming show tagged He, them and I which he says is going to be one of the biggest comedy shows ever. The XQZ MOI boss also gave insights on his soon retirement from active stand up comedy.
What’s the whole concept behind your forth coming show titled “He, them and I”?
Well, I rarely do events, I think the last time I did an event was in 2005
when I had “Share offer”. Not because I don’t like doing events but because the energy, logistics and everything that goes into it, doesn’t actually give you a commensurate gain. So, within a month that you are planning a show, if you’re somebody who gets a lot of events, probably you’d have made like eight times what you will make as profit. So, every other time, people are like why not a show, you’ve not done a show lately and I say no, let my guys do shows. But what happens is, you plan to have a show and one of your guys have a show, for him, it is like he wants to step up his game. It will be odd for me having been in the business for a while to tell him no don’t do your show, let me do mine. So most of the times, I have allowed my colleagues to have shows because I didn’t want to do a show that will clash with theirs on one side. On the other side, the profit margin is always very low, but this needed to be done because by next year, I would have been 20 years in Stand up professionally. It’s much longer but professionally from 1990 to 2010, that will be 20years. So, this is like a semi final, the last show is going to be titled “Finally”. The last show is going to be me on stage, maybe two or three hours, it’s going to be fully loaded.
Who are those you’ll feature alongside?
I’m going to be on stage with a lot of people that I respect, people who have come with me a long the line which is why we are playing the big names like myself, Basorge, Okey Bakassi, Patrick Doyle, Alamblow, Tee A. you’re going to hear a lot of Muhammed Danjuma’s jokes. I do it at every event I go to, I say this is a joke to remind you of a colleague of mine and I do one of Danjuma’s stuff. People are nearly beginning to forget Muhammed Danjuma and the kind of jokes he did. You hear a lot of comedians use it like their own; Muhammed is not going to come out of the grave to say this is my joke but we need to remember him. I am trying to use this show as a yardstick, let my colleagues look at it and say oh, this is how it should be done, how it should packaged, this is the limit you should not go beyond, because there are so many rules in stand up comedy that are not being followed now. The line between being funny and being offensive are very thin, you may thread and miss-step and you are on the offensive side but maintaining the balance and let people know that no harm was meant is very appropriate and those are some of the things that I want to achieve. When I first thought of He, Them and I, I was like, is it possible to get someone like Bill Cosby to feature on the show? Bill Cosby will be ‘He, Them will be like Lagbaja and D’Banj and then I. then we thought about the logistics and some of my colleagues said it will be an over kill because after you bring Bill Cosby, what will you bring when you do Finally?
And I said Finally, I am going to be on stage alone, they said no, it will still be nice to have people like that to just grace the show even if they are not performing. So, what we’ve done is to shelve all those big names we thought we are going to have and let’s have D’Banj and all those guys who built the industry with me and that’s how we came up with the content of He, Them and I.
Why the personality of D’banj as He?
If you check statistics, D’banj is the most played artiste right now and D’banj is like the most award winning artiste. This show is like a paper, there are two faces to it. What I want to do in the final, I don’t want to reveal yet but this second to the last show, I wanted to bring people who have benefited from entertainment to in a way, give back to society. D’banj is performing nearly for free. Why I said nearly for free is that I’ve given him transport money, I’ve told him I’m going to tell people that I’ve given him transport money and he has said for my kind of person, he will play and I said no, I want it to be on record that I gave him transport money. Then, we are doing the first show with the mind of giving back to society big time. D’banj is also a want to see artiste, people want to see him perform, he has the stage carriage, he has songs, and he has personality to grab your attention. I’m sure if you were to count five people who would fit that bill, he will come top, not that you won’t get any other person. For Them, because we didn’t want to have so many artiste and I thought okay, since we’ve not done Bill Cosby and we’ve decided to change that and bring Bill Cosby for Finally and lets have all the comedians that were on the comedy scene from 1990 till now.
Are you saying your colleagues are not doing shows the way it should be done?No. All I'm saying is that there are rules to be followed as a stand up comedian, which some of my colleagues are not following or strictly adhering to, and it's not good for the profession. Aside that, there are rooms for improvement and that is what I intend doing with this show, so that they can improve more on their game and step it up. I would be quitting very soon, but I intend to continually advice and make colleagues and the industry grow. What I am doing is an eye opener to how they can make more money and do better shows. Some of my colleagues complain so much about not making profits after every show and they just lament, so I want to show them how they should go about their dealings to get a better result. You just said there's a thin line between being offensive and being funny. Wasn't this similar to what caused the alleged rift between you and ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo?I still enjoy a good relationship with Baba till date and I have never been out of favour with him. I can call him now if you want. You see, some people just use Panadol for other people's headache, and that is one thing I have learnt on my job. The first thing is to have a good relationship with these people before using such punch line on them. Most times, I tell Baba the jokes about him even before I render them publicly, and whenever I render them in his presence, he already knows the punch line and laughs it off. There was a time I did a joke about Chief Alex Akinyele, comparing him with Jim Nwobodo as minister of sports. After rendering the joke, one of Chief Akinyele's aides came and warned me not to disrespect his boss or render such jokes again and I said okay. But, when the man himself saw me, he simply repeated the joke and we laughed over it. When I told him about his aide he simply shrugged him off and literarily compelled me to do more. The rumour that Baba was angry with me is false. It was just some of his aides who was over acting in his absence and nothing more. Be that as it may, I do not encourage my colleagues, who have no relationship with these people to render such jokes, because it might be embarrassing for them. Like the one that happened when a colleague of mine rendered a joke about Baba and the former President publicly declared that he had never met the dude and that the incident happened between himself and Ali Baba. So, there is a thin line between being funny and being offensive, but when you have a relationship with these people, it's easier to do a punch line on them because you might have at one time or the other said it to them personally. You are one of the highest paid stand up comedians and masters of ceremony in the country today. It is even said that you even collect millions for shows. How much do you really charge for shows?The lowest I charge is free, because I have even paid for artiste to perform at some shows before. This is because there are times I am called to do an event for somebody, but I have another event that is juicier and what I do is since you are insisting, I would get you another MC to do this event and pay for it. Immediately you'd know that the person only wants something cheap and not really your services. By so doing, you would have saved yourself the agony of losing the juicy job. If you have a product launch, I could do between N1million and N1.5million, but if it were out of town, I would charge between N1.5million and N2million. This is probably a standard I want to maintain, but it could be more.Some of your colleagues don't take a uniform fee?If somebody pays you N40, 000 at initial engagement, it would be hard to increase your fee and you also prevent other colleagues from getting that much or more. It's best for you to think of other colleagues when charging, because it is only when you miss a show that you realize how important you are to the show. Charge as much as you can, though you shouldn't be too high. Be considerate, but don't belittle yourself or other colleagues by charging too low. We have sacrificed for others when we started. It is only when you get appreciated that you can help build the industry.How would you know whether you are appreciated or not by the client?I would give you an example. A man called me up to do an event for him for a price and I told him that I couldn't do it for that price. But he began to beg, and even employed his wife to beg me. It was after that that I agreed, and I was paid by his company. Months later, one of the directors in his company wanted to celebrate his 70th birthday. He just called me up and said, 'Ali, I have instructed them to raise a cheque for you to be at the event for me', but I said we have not discussed the price. Then he told me he learnt that the company paid me certain amount, and that he has raised the same amount for his own event. The man now later called me and pleaded that I should understand that he is a director and that I should do it for the price. And I told him that it's a shame for me to tell him to his face that he is a disappointment, and he felt insulted and that was it. We have a mutual friend who intervened. After that, I simply knew that the first man didn't appreciate my services, because if he had appreciated me, he would have told his director the exact amount I told him that I usually charge. It also means if it were to be any of my younger colleagues, they would even pay less and say after all, Ali doesn't even take that much. Every wristwatch says the time but there's difference in their aesthetics and what they portray.Tell us more about the brand Ali BabaMy clients are people who are not fascinated by all these endorsement deals and they don't even watch the TV that well to feel me. My kind of audience are people who enjoy me most when I render jokes for them on a stage and they laugh so well that they can relate with whatever I have to tell them. They are the kind of people I have grown to make my audience. Not that I don't like the endorsement deals, but I just don't clamour for them like you are making it sound. If it comes, I would definitely get it done. I once did some, but to be factual with you, my kind of commodity is not the one that needs much advertisement because the crowd would ask for it, even without adverts or endorsements. It's like medicines for catarrh and cough. We have several adverts but have you seen any advert on Actifed on your TV? Is it still not the most preferred medicine for these things? That is how you can easily understand my kind of brand.What can you say about the talks about you rolling with women who are far richer than you?I'm not bothered about such talks because you need to see the kind of shows and events that I get to make you know that I make my own money and I don't live on any woman. I would give you an instance. A client called me up and said whenever he asks for discount from me I refuse, and that he has been fighting on my behalf. He said and I quote, 'Do you know that my wife and her friends saw you on TV and they started talking of how you go around dating women that are richer than you for their money. I simply showed my wife what we paid for the last show you did for us. So next time give me discount oh." People like that know what I am worth and what I have been able to work hard to get. It's not my fault that my taste in women is rich, and there's nothing I can do about that. I mean, that is my own taste of women and everybody has his or her own taste. I have never been bothered and I won't be bothered a bit. I know what I'm worth and what the good Lord has done for me.Would it be right to say you are successful and wealthy?If I deny the goodness of God in my life I would be calling for His anger. God has done so well for me. I mean I am someone who came to Lagos determined to make it better than my father, and to become a man of own. I came to Lagos in 1988 with a caricature kind of luggage. I call it caricature because it was made of paper and I can't remember how many times I slept in nightclubs, Bar Beach and even in a lock up shop owned by my friend Giant Ajanloko. I had no place to keep my clothes and what I did was leave them with my washman, who I still use till date, and I go there daily to change my clothes. I started gradually and the good Lord showed me His grace. I now live well, have several clothes, own cars and live in a good home in Lekki. So, the good Lord has been good to me. You see, in terms of wealth, I am rich in the Lord and all I will be going after is in the Lord's vineyard.Are there any regrets?I won't really say I have regrets, but my saddest moments were when we lost Mohammed Danjuma and Abagana. I felt we could have prevented their death one way or another. But we thank God that they impacted on some lives and we are grateful that they existed in our time.What about XQZ Moi and the demolition issue?Well, XQZ MOI is doing fine. What happened is that we lost some part of our property to the Lagos State Government when they started the construction of the road that went through the back of XQZ MOI, but we have been able to resolve all that and all we are waiting for is the completion of the work. When that happens, we will be back in business full swing, only that we would have lost some meters of our land.
By Oliver Onuoha
Having spent 20 years of his life as an entertainer, Ali Baba is believed to be the father of the fast rising Nigerian comedy industry which today, is a money spinner. Ali Baba in this interview, talks of his sojourn into comedy, of how he had to sleep at the bar beach and in most night clubs when he first came to Lagos with a rickety portmanteau in search of the Golden Fleece. He spoke about his forth coming show tagged He, them and I which he says is going to be one of the biggest comedy shows ever. The XQZ MOI boss also gave insights on his soon retirement from active stand up comedy.
What’s the whole concept behind your forth coming show titled “He, them and I”?
Well, I rarely do events, I think the last time I did an event was in 2005
when I had “Share offer”. Not because I don’t like doing events but because the energy, logistics and everything that goes into it, doesn’t actually give you a commensurate gain. So, within a month that you are planning a show, if you’re somebody who gets a lot of events, probably you’d have made like eight times what you will make as profit. So, every other time, people are like why not a show, you’ve not done a show lately and I say no, let my guys do shows. But what happens is, you plan to have a show and one of your guys have a show, for him, it is like he wants to step up his game. It will be odd for me having been in the business for a while to tell him no don’t do your show, let me do mine. So most of the times, I have allowed my colleagues to have shows because I didn’t want to do a show that will clash with theirs on one side. On the other side, the profit margin is always very low, but this needed to be done because by next year, I would have been 20 years in Stand up professionally. It’s much longer but professionally from 1990 to 2010, that will be 20years. So, this is like a semi final, the last show is going to be titled “Finally”. The last show is going to be me on stage, maybe two or three hours, it’s going to be fully loaded.Who are those you’ll feature alongside?
I’m going to be on stage with a lot of people that I respect, people who have come with me a long the line which is why we are playing the big names like myself, Basorge, Okey Bakassi, Patrick Doyle, Alamblow, Tee A. you’re going to hear a lot of Muhammed Danjuma’s jokes. I do it at every event I go to, I say this is a joke to remind you of a colleague of mine and I do one of Danjuma’s stuff. People are nearly beginning to forget Muhammed Danjuma and the kind of jokes he did. You hear a lot of comedians use it like their own; Muhammed is not going to come out of the grave to say this is my joke but we need to remember him. I am trying to use this show as a yardstick, let my colleagues look at it and say oh, this is how it should be done, how it should packaged, this is the limit you should not go beyond, because there are so many rules in stand up comedy that are not being followed now. The line between being funny and being offensive are very thin, you may thread and miss-step and you are on the offensive side but maintaining the balance and let people know that no harm was meant is very appropriate and those are some of the things that I want to achieve. When I first thought of He, Them and I, I was like, is it possible to get someone like Bill Cosby to feature on the show? Bill Cosby will be ‘He, Them will be like Lagbaja and D’Banj and then I. then we thought about the logistics and some of my colleagues said it will be an over kill because after you bring Bill Cosby, what will you bring when you do Finally?
And I said Finally, I am going to be on stage alone, they said no, it will still be nice to have people like that to just grace the show even if they are not performing. So, what we’ve done is to shelve all those big names we thought we are going to have and let’s have D’Banj and all those guys who built the industry with me and that’s how we came up with the content of He, Them and I.
Why the personality of D’banj as He?
If you check statistics, D’banj is the most played artiste right now and D’banj is like the most award winning artiste. This show is like a paper, there are two faces to it. What I want to do in the final, I don’t want to reveal yet but this second to the last show, I wanted to bring people who have benefited from entertainment to in a way, give back to society. D’banj is performing nearly for free. Why I said nearly for free is that I’ve given him transport money, I’ve told him I’m going to tell people that I’ve given him transport money and he has said for my kind of person, he will play and I said no, I want it to be on record that I gave him transport money. Then, we are doing the first show with the mind of giving back to society big time. D’banj is also a want to see artiste, people want to see him perform, he has the stage carriage, he has songs, and he has personality to grab your attention. I’m sure if you were to count five people who would fit that bill, he will come top, not that you won’t get any other person. For Them, because we didn’t want to have so many artiste and I thought okay, since we’ve not done Bill Cosby and we’ve decided to change that and bring Bill Cosby for Finally and lets have all the comedians that were on the comedy scene from 1990 till now.
Are you saying your colleagues are not doing shows the way it should be done?No. All I'm saying is that there are rules to be followed as a stand up comedian, which some of my colleagues are not following or strictly adhering to, and it's not good for the profession. Aside that, there are rooms for improvement and that is what I intend doing with this show, so that they can improve more on their game and step it up. I would be quitting very soon, but I intend to continually advice and make colleagues and the industry grow. What I am doing is an eye opener to how they can make more money and do better shows. Some of my colleagues complain so much about not making profits after every show and they just lament, so I want to show them how they should go about their dealings to get a better result. You just said there's a thin line between being offensive and being funny. Wasn't this similar to what caused the alleged rift between you and ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo?I still enjoy a good relationship with Baba till date and I have never been out of favour with him. I can call him now if you want. You see, some people just use Panadol for other people's headache, and that is one thing I have learnt on my job. The first thing is to have a good relationship with these people before using such punch line on them. Most times, I tell Baba the jokes about him even before I render them publicly, and whenever I render them in his presence, he already knows the punch line and laughs it off. There was a time I did a joke about Chief Alex Akinyele, comparing him with Jim Nwobodo as minister of sports. After rendering the joke, one of Chief Akinyele's aides came and warned me not to disrespect his boss or render such jokes again and I said okay. But, when the man himself saw me, he simply repeated the joke and we laughed over it. When I told him about his aide he simply shrugged him off and literarily compelled me to do more. The rumour that Baba was angry with me is false. It was just some of his aides who was over acting in his absence and nothing more. Be that as it may, I do not encourage my colleagues, who have no relationship with these people to render such jokes, because it might be embarrassing for them. Like the one that happened when a colleague of mine rendered a joke about Baba and the former President publicly declared that he had never met the dude and that the incident happened between himself and Ali Baba. So, there is a thin line between being funny and being offensive, but when you have a relationship with these people, it's easier to do a punch line on them because you might have at one time or the other said it to them personally. You are one of the highest paid stand up comedians and masters of ceremony in the country today. It is even said that you even collect millions for shows. How much do you really charge for shows?The lowest I charge is free, because I have even paid for artiste to perform at some shows before. This is because there are times I am called to do an event for somebody, but I have another event that is juicier and what I do is since you are insisting, I would get you another MC to do this event and pay for it. Immediately you'd know that the person only wants something cheap and not really your services. By so doing, you would have saved yourself the agony of losing the juicy job. If you have a product launch, I could do between N1million and N1.5million, but if it were out of town, I would charge between N1.5million and N2million. This is probably a standard I want to maintain, but it could be more.Some of your colleagues don't take a uniform fee?If somebody pays you N40, 000 at initial engagement, it would be hard to increase your fee and you also prevent other colleagues from getting that much or more. It's best for you to think of other colleagues when charging, because it is only when you miss a show that you realize how important you are to the show. Charge as much as you can, though you shouldn't be too high. Be considerate, but don't belittle yourself or other colleagues by charging too low. We have sacrificed for others when we started. It is only when you get appreciated that you can help build the industry.How would you know whether you are appreciated or not by the client?I would give you an example. A man called me up to do an event for him for a price and I told him that I couldn't do it for that price. But he began to beg, and even employed his wife to beg me. It was after that that I agreed, and I was paid by his company. Months later, one of the directors in his company wanted to celebrate his 70th birthday. He just called me up and said, 'Ali, I have instructed them to raise a cheque for you to be at the event for me', but I said we have not discussed the price. Then he told me he learnt that the company paid me certain amount, and that he has raised the same amount for his own event. The man now later called me and pleaded that I should understand that he is a director and that I should do it for the price. And I told him that it's a shame for me to tell him to his face that he is a disappointment, and he felt insulted and that was it. We have a mutual friend who intervened. After that, I simply knew that the first man didn't appreciate my services, because if he had appreciated me, he would have told his director the exact amount I told him that I usually charge. It also means if it were to be any of my younger colleagues, they would even pay less and say after all, Ali doesn't even take that much. Every wristwatch says the time but there's difference in their aesthetics and what they portray.Tell us more about the brand Ali BabaMy clients are people who are not fascinated by all these endorsement deals and they don't even watch the TV that well to feel me. My kind of audience are people who enjoy me most when I render jokes for them on a stage and they laugh so well that they can relate with whatever I have to tell them. They are the kind of people I have grown to make my audience. Not that I don't like the endorsement deals, but I just don't clamour for them like you are making it sound. If it comes, I would definitely get it done. I once did some, but to be factual with you, my kind of commodity is not the one that needs much advertisement because the crowd would ask for it, even without adverts or endorsements. It's like medicines for catarrh and cough. We have several adverts but have you seen any advert on Actifed on your TV? Is it still not the most preferred medicine for these things? That is how you can easily understand my kind of brand.What can you say about the talks about you rolling with women who are far richer than you?I'm not bothered about such talks because you need to see the kind of shows and events that I get to make you know that I make my own money and I don't live on any woman. I would give you an instance. A client called me up and said whenever he asks for discount from me I refuse, and that he has been fighting on my behalf. He said and I quote, 'Do you know that my wife and her friends saw you on TV and they started talking of how you go around dating women that are richer than you for their money. I simply showed my wife what we paid for the last show you did for us. So next time give me discount oh." People like that know what I am worth and what I have been able to work hard to get. It's not my fault that my taste in women is rich, and there's nothing I can do about that. I mean, that is my own taste of women and everybody has his or her own taste. I have never been bothered and I won't be bothered a bit. I know what I'm worth and what the good Lord has done for me.Would it be right to say you are successful and wealthy?If I deny the goodness of God in my life I would be calling for His anger. God has done so well for me. I mean I am someone who came to Lagos determined to make it better than my father, and to become a man of own. I came to Lagos in 1988 with a caricature kind of luggage. I call it caricature because it was made of paper and I can't remember how many times I slept in nightclubs, Bar Beach and even in a lock up shop owned by my friend Giant Ajanloko. I had no place to keep my clothes and what I did was leave them with my washman, who I still use till date, and I go there daily to change my clothes. I started gradually and the good Lord showed me His grace. I now live well, have several clothes, own cars and live in a good home in Lekki. So, the good Lord has been good to me. You see, in terms of wealth, I am rich in the Lord and all I will be going after is in the Lord's vineyard.Are there any regrets?I won't really say I have regrets, but my saddest moments were when we lost Mohammed Danjuma and Abagana. I felt we could have prevented their death one way or another. But we thank God that they impacted on some lives and we are grateful that they existed in our time.What about XQZ Moi and the demolition issue?Well, XQZ MOI is doing fine. What happened is that we lost some part of our property to the Lagos State Government when they started the construction of the road that went through the back of XQZ MOI, but we have been able to resolve all that and all we are waiting for is the completion of the work. When that happens, we will be back in business full swing, only that we would have lost some meters of our land.
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